old stuff
new stuff
contact
cast
profile
sign here
design
diaryland
review(coming soon...)
diaryland
People I Know:
5:51 p.m.
I don't talk to Nicole anymore...
When she's in town I don't see here. I don't see Mike for that matter, except for a few minutes one afternoon.
I don't talk to Heather...
I don't talk to Kristen...
I think I've talked to Scott more in depth than I've talked to Heather in the past two months.
that's sad isn't it? I should be upset shouldn't I? Upset enough to, you know, do something about it. I'm not.
I am sad , I'm devastated but I don't act on it. I'm not trying. The few times I have have been fruitless. Too little too late I suppose. With Kristen and Heather... I dunno... I do miss them. I really do. I hate how they spend their time, at least what I read and am told...but it's not that that stops me. With Kristen, the intentions were always there but that doesn't really matter does it. I guess the friendship never really mattered enough to either of us to do anything about it. Heather's completely different...in the exact same way. Of any of them I miss her the most. I even miss the unofficial competition she and I seemed to be in the year before last. We never talked about it but we were always trying to one up each other. We never did. Really, I just miss talking to her. It's not to say I don't have friends here that I adore but I mean I could never be Emily or Jenn or Brandie to Shannon any more than she could be Heather or Nicole to me. Likewise with Maggie. I could talk to Heather about Jimmy...until she started thinking that everything I said about him was just an effort to make her jealous...Kind of reminded me of when I was dating Brad...maybe thats why I stopped trying. But it doesn't explain Kristen. I don't know. I really don't anymore. I used to think that I was this great caring person but I'm not. I'm not. At all. I'm just as bad as everyone else...maybe worse, probably worse.
so this is what I know from having an entire weekend with nothingto do but think:
1. I'm a terrible person
2. I can't write for shit
3. I really really need to lose weight
...so that was my weekend. and I still have 17 days until I can see Jim.
She was born in November 1963 The day Aldous Huxley died And her mama believed That every man could be free So her mama got high, high, high And her daddy marched on Birmingham Singing mighty protest songs And he pictured all the places That he knew that she belonged But he failed and taught her young The only thing she's need to carry on He taught her how to Run baby run baby run baby run Baby run Past the arms of the familiar And their talk of better days To the comfort of the strangers Slipping out before they say so long Baby loves to run She counts out all her money In the taxi on the way to meet her plane Stares hopeful out the window At the workers fighting Through the pouring rain She's searching through the stations For an unfamiliar song And she's pictures all the places Where she knows she still belongs And she smiles the secret smile Because she knows exactly how To carry on So run baby run baby run baby run Baby run From the old familiar faces and Their old familiar ways To the comfort of the strangers Slipping out before they say So long Baby loves to run
Last Five Entries:
insert semi clever joke about not being able to spell something without R U here - 08.08.2005
- - 08.06.2005
well fuck. - 08.06.2005
it's all just a little bit of history repeating... - 08.03.2005
a quick update - 08.03.2005