I went to dinner with my parents tonight. Just me and them. This used to be the kind of thing I dreaded but seeing as how I dont really have a life what else am I going to do? And they're good people.

It's also nice to know that they do see things. Like Micah. Micah can't get his shit straight. My shit's in neat little piles and he resents me. He resents that. Everytime we fight I can see it come out. He gets angrier at me than he does at Zach, He gets angrier at me than he used to. Ian never really did. Then again Ian didn't want what I do and therefore was never in any sort of competition with me. Micah does but he fucked himself over years ago. Its only when he's alone that he'll say he did it to himself and it wasnt the whole world against him. They all blame my mom for shit she couldn't possibly be at fault for. Eventually you just have to let go of that. they will. I just hope not too late. I mean you only have two parents in your whole life and they may fuck you over...but their parents did it to them. The shit my mom went through with her parents... It doesn't really matter though. I mean for better or worse she's my mom. She had me for a reason and I have her for one. I could spend my time secretly hating her or I could accept her...human flaws and all.

tomorrow is tech day... gee...whizz...