this time last year I was confused. I wanted to be with Jimmy but history and fear were stopping...good thing I didn't listen to those for long.

Actually yesterday was our one year anniversary...and it's snowing today, just like it did last year. Its funny how things are get rubbed in my face. The only thing different about today is the distance. Thats funny on some level I'm sure, to someone.

I love him. I really do. He just does something to me that I can't explain. He wants me. He needs me. In the morning when no one else would find me attractive, before I've brushed my teeth or combed my hair he wants to kiss me. He listens. When I talk he doesn't stop me, he doesn't wait for his turn to speak, he listens. And I love to hear him talk. Even if he's just geeking out about L'mour or Gammell, he'll explain an entire 9 book series to me always going back to fit things in.I love it. I can't explain it but I do. He apologizes when he's wrong and doesn't rub it in when I am(and I am a lot.) He takes me ice skating. He looked at art with me. ART! Jimmy doesn't give a damn about art but he went through the sculpture garden with me. He didn't even make fun of the giant eraser. How could I not love a man who didn't make fun of Eraser, Scale X. He watched Little Women with me. I fell asleep and he kept watching. I know because he told me how it ended to prove that he'd watched it all. He hates that movie. He hates movies like that. He lets me cook for him and he actually likes it. He makes me smile, big goofy smiles no one else gets to see. He rubs my feet. No one else has ever done that. But more than all that he lets me be myself, completely. And how could I not love him for that.

... a boy asked me for my number today. His name's Jeff, he lives in my neighborhood. I don't know, I think it must have been that someone bet him. Thats the only logical explanation. I did't give him my number, for the above reasons